


Springtime Fresh

by Terygon



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: AU-Modern, At Least Here's Another Chapter, F/M, Maybe I will write it..., More Happens After, Not Sure I'll Write It, Renamed due to new chapter, maybe angst?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-02-13 21:37:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12993024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Terygon/pseuds/Terygon
Summary: She came in through the laundry window, but he was the one who'd had the silver spoon.





	1. Wash Hot, Rinse Cold

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, all.
> 
> I'm putting a pause on my body-swap fics until I can find out how the cast feels about non-sexual RPF, so here's this. Hope you enjoy.

_Circles, squares, circles_ in _squares? What kind of code is this?_

Percival Fredrickstein Von Mussel Klossowski de Rolo III hoped the next label would make more sense.

_Wash separately with like colors? It's the only purple shirt I have. It gets its own load? Dry cleaning can't be more expensive than that._

He was considering giving up and throwing himself and his clothes on the mercy of his best friend when he heard a _thud_ from the back of his building's basement laundry room, followed by a string of rather creative cursing. Halfway to the back corner he paused, surprised at himself for thoughtlessly moving toward a voice in a room he hadn't known he shared, but in only a few moments his feet started moving again. He picked up a broom leaning against one of the machines in an attempt to appease his paranoia as he indulged his instincts. Turning into a small alcove he found a woman.

Or more precisely, half a woman. The top half, to be quite specific. With a stunning face and eyes that–

“Oh, lovely. Darling, could you give us a hand? It seems more than my chest has developed since the last time I tried this.”

She reached out and he dropped the broom to take her hands. A quick tug brought a whole woman to stand in front of a small window. She smiled a very potent smile at him before turning to pick up the well-worn duffel bag that accounted for the thud he'd heard. She seemed about to say something when she jolted and turned back to the window where a huge canine head drooled at her over one paw. That seemed to be all of the dog that would fit through the window.

“Oh no, Trinket, dear, you won't make it. Go find Uncle Vax and tell him I'll meet you both at the usual place.”

The massive, jowled face whined.

“I'm fine, love. Go.”

The dog, Trinket Percy supposed, glared at him for a long moment, clearly telling him who was going to be held responsible if any harm came to the woman, then squirmed back from the window. When it was clear, Percy closed the pane, but couldn't manage to lock it.

“Don't worry about that, darling. It didn't lock when I was fourteen, and it looks like rental management doesn't care anymore now than it did then.” She slung the duffel over her shoulder and turned toward the door. “Well, if ever I can return the favor...”

“Well, actually, there is something.” Finally he could speak. At his words, she turned back to him, her face just hinting at wariness with what might be the beginnings of disappointment. He wasn't sure anyone else would have seen it and wondered briefly why he did. Gesturing at his dirty clothes he continued, “I could use a little help here.”

Her gaze shifted from his face to the dozen tiny piles of laundry spread over the table, then back to his face. He couldn't say exactly what about her gaze changed, but she looked somewhat relieved and maybe a bit embarassed. She looked back at his clothes.

“First time doing your own laundry?”

“I suppose it is that obvious. If it's not too much to ask...” Percy's voice trailed off.

Not answering verbally, she pulled off her hooded sweatshirt jacket, shoved it into her duffel and kicked both under the table, out of the way. She pushed the piles of laundry into one big heap, then paused.

“Do you want just want it done, or do you want to know why it's done that way?”

“Why, please.”

She decoded the symbols and phrases for him, adding more general instructions for different fabrics. They'd sorted quietly side by side for a minute when she pressed the back of her hand to her mouth to hold back a snorting chuckle. He raised questioning eyebrows, to which she responded with a more open giggle.

“Sorry, darling, I was just thinking that sorting laundry is better than speed dating. Hey, I can already answer boxers or briefs.” He felt his face burn as her laugh pealed out, until her attention was diverted. “Although it looks like I can still be surprised.”

She dangled a pair of bikini briefs spotted with cartoon flowers and suns from her fingers. Damn, if he blushed any harder his head was going to explode.

“That's a gag gift from a friend, and I was putting off washing my clothes as long as I could.”

“An underwear-gifting friend?”

“An underwear-gag-gifting friend, and Keyleth, well, her idea of appropriate is... unique.”

“Oh, my, a _female_ underwear-gifting friend.”

“You sound like my sister. We don't think of each other like that.” If his hands hadn't been busy with his clothes, he would have rubbed one across his face.

“You realize that if this were an after-school special, or maybe a romance novel, you two would totally think of each other like that, but each would be afraid to ruin the friendship by telling the other.”

He started to dismiss the idea automatically, then felt obligated as a scientist to examine the proposition. For about two and a half seconds before his brain twisted and his stomach turned.

“Oh, no. Just... just no.”

“My, my, she must be absolutely hideous.”

It was his turn to snort. “Hardly. She's model-gorgeous, but... I might as well kiss my sister.”

“As you wish, but you may be protesting too much.”

“Hardly.” He was repeating himself. Time to dodge and parry. “But enough about me. You have more of a love life than I do.”

The brows over those chocolate-brown eyes asked what he was talking about.

“Your dog has an 'Uncle' Vax. You must –” He cut himself off at the horrified look on her face. It melded into a decidedly nauseous look that Percy thought might be a fairly close copy of his expression when he tried to think of Keyleth together with romance.

“Oh, gross! That's disgusting!” She put her fingers up to her mouth as if to hold in bile. “This Keyleth may be like your sister, but Vax actually is my brother.”

Oh. Well, that changed things. He wasn't exactly sure what, but something definitely changed.

She was about to continue when a voice drifted into the room from upstairs.

“SPD, ma'am. May I ask you a few questions?”

Instead of continuing their banter as Percy expected, she took a deep breath, her eyes suddenly focused on his. “Do a girl another favor?”

“Of course –” Percy would have continued, but she grabbed his wrists and planted his hands firmly on her, um, backside, moving in to press her body against his, her fingers twining into his hair. She looked into his eyes, smiling mischeviously at what she saw.

“Close your eyes, darling. That pole-axed look will give us away.”

She pulled his head to hers and kissed him, although 'kiss' seemed to be an understatement. The quote about perfect kisses from _The Princess Bride_ drifted across his mind, but Percy would put this up against Wesley and Buttercup anytime.

He first felt the softness of her lips, softer even than his favorite buffing cloth. Then came her scent, subtle cinnamon over pine forest with hints of... dog? She tasted hot, not pepper-hot but cinnamon again and woodsmoke and electricity. As the kiss deepened he thought someone had turned on one of the dryers, but no, one of them was growling deep in their chest. He was pretty sure it was her, but not absolutely certain.

A cough from behind her broke them apart. “I beg your pardon. SPD, sir, miss. I have some questions I need to ask you.”

“Of – ahem, of course, Officer.” Percy had to clear his own throat before he could answer. “Anything for one of Stillben's finest.”

“A couple of teenage boys stole some valuables from a shop down the block and one was seen running this way. Have either of you seen a male, approximately five foot ten and one hundred forty pounds, wearing a hooded sweatshirt jacket and jeans?” The officer wouldn't look them in the face, and Percy had a feeling that if her complexion was a little lighter, she'd have a blush to rival the one that was again burning his own cheeks.

“No, I can't say I have. You, darling?” The girl still wrapped in one of his arms shook her head. “Sorry, but maybe we'll have better luck with the other one.”

“The other what?”

“The other description. You said there were two boys.”

The officer shook her head. “The other boy took off in the opposite direction. Besides, they apparently look quite similar.”

“Oh, well, again sorry.”

“How long have you both been down here?”

“The better part of an hour, I should think. We met down here. She's teaching me how to sort my laundry.” The girl beside him spit out a startled laugh while the officer fought to keep from smiling. “Among other things, and before you ask, you are the first and only person to pass through that door since I did.”

“Are you sure you would have noticed if anyone had?”

Percy started to answer, then stopped to consider the thought. “Honestly no, I'm not, but either way, we don't have any information for you.

The officer nodded as she finished her notes. “I think that's about it for questions. May I take a look around before I leave?”

“Please, feel free,” The girl piped up. “Although I'm not sure we could stop you if we wanted to.”

“The Academy and my mother taught me to be polite and ask whenever possible.”

“And you've learned your lessons well, I see.”

Percy squeezed her hand, nervous about her drawing attention to herself, and stepped aside to allow the officer access to the room beyond them. Her investigation quick but thorough, the officer was soon on her way, apologizing for the interruption as she left.

“Robbery? Just down the street? How is a person supposed to feel safe in this town?” She continued in that vein until they heard the door to the street upstairs close behind footsteps from hard-soled cop shoes, then the topic changed but the rant continued.

“A teen-age boy. Seriously, a teen-age boy?” She took half a step back from Percy, gesturing at her face and torso. “Does this look like a teen-age boy to you?”

He had to admit she made her point. Nothing about the soft curve of her jawline, the sweep of her lashes over her deep brown, somewhat almond-shaped eyes, nor anything between even hinted at male. Her developed bosum, currently rising and falling deeply in indignation, and her slight, yet definitely curved hips also countered the premise. Percy was briefly distracted, wondering how such slender hips had become stuck in the window, until he remembered the muscles that had been under his hands just minutes before.

He also remembered he hadn't answered her question. “To be completely honest, not in the least.”

She started, as if she'd forgotten his presence even as she stared at him.

“Your laundry's sorted, so I suppose I should – ”

“Please correct me if I overstep,” Percy interrupted, leaning forward until their lips met again.

This kiss was sweeter, gentler than the first, warming his heart rather than setting fire to the rest of him. Both far too soon and entirely too late, she slowly pulled away. He forced his eyes open to look into hers.

“Well, I guess I owe you again.” Again he couldn't quite tell what about her expression indicated that she was as unsettled as he, but there it was.

Percy had to inhale deeply before he could answer. “I think I've been paid in full.”

She took two backward steps, then turned and strode out the door. He let his heart ache for just a minute before walling it off to return his attention to his clothes.

It was better this way. He didn't know much about her, but he knew she deserved better than him.

* * *

Vex walked down the street at an even, if rapid pace. She couldn't ignore the irony of all the men who could get the wrong idea from a disinterested glance, when this one couldn't get the right one after she was plastered against him. 


	2. Making Arrangements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A floral shop is a safe place, isn't it?

Keyleth stared unhappily at the piece she was working on. Apart from the greenery, it was monochromatic, somehow both chaotic and boring, both scents and visual textures clashed, and the client was going to love it. Hopefully, Mrs. Penderhall would pick it up before anyone else saw it and took it to be representative of Keyleth's actual skill at floral design.

The jingling of the bell on the front door killed that hope, as it was three hours before Mrs. Penderhall was due, and she was never early. A quick glance at her shelves and cupboards confirmed there was absolutely no room to hide the arrangement, so Keyleth plastered her best professional smile on her face and turned to the door.

“Hi! Welcome to Ashari Flor...al.” Her voice wilted at the end of the sentence when she saw what she was pretty sure was the most beautiful man she had ever seen, standing just inside her door. Lean build, black hair to below his shoulders, intense brown eyes with a hint of almond to their shape, tight black jeans, a black, loose fitting t-shirt bemoaning Monday mornings, it all just... fit.

After he tilted his head with an inquiring smile, she realized she was staring.

“What-?” Her voice cracked on the first word. How pathetic could she be? She swallowed and took a deep breath so she could start again. “What can I do for you?”

He blinked as if he hadn't thought about buying anything. As he stuffed the jacket in his hand into his backpack, he said, “Actually, I was just looking to get out of that wind. It's got a bite to it today. Do you mind if I just hang out for a while?”

Afraid she'd choke on her tongue if she tried to talk again, Keyleth gave a welcoming gesture, palm open and facing up. He smiled and started wandering around the sales floor.

“My sister would love this arrangement. What's this flower?”

A quick glance let her answer the question. “That's a dahlia.”

“I like the choice of colors. They're close enough to work together, but not so close they look like the florist couldn't quite see they didn't match.”

“Thank you.” As complements went, she'd had worse.

He went back to wandering. “Did you do all these arrangements?”

“Mm-hmm, pretty much.”

“I like them. You can see what they mean to say. Like this one. It's for sympathy, right?” When she nodded he followed suit. “I thought so. I don't know what the flowers are, but they're a good mix of soft and strong. And this piece here, it supports the main part, but it seems to trust it to take care of itself, too. Whoa, way too many 'its' in that sentence.”

Stunned, Keyleth stared as he walked the small display aisles, commenting on her works as they caught his eye. He may not know the flowers or their meanings, but he was spot on when it came to her intentions for each piece. He finished the aisles and approached the counter.

“And you're working on something new. Wow, it's... this is... interesting.”

She grimaced. “Oh, please. I know it's awful, but it's what the client wants.”

“Oh, praise be!” He raised his eyes to the ceiling. “I was afraid I'd have to find something complementary to say if I wanted to ask you to go for coffee with me.”

She started to laugh with him, then her brain processed his last sentence, twisting her tongue until she actually choked and coughed this time. He patted her back, concerned, and looked up into her face. At that point she noticed he was shorter than her. Yes, just like about ninety-eight per cent of the rest of the world. As her throat relaxed she managed to squeak out, “Coffee?”

“Or whatever you'd like to drink. I don't judge beverages.”

She was surprised he asked. She was even more surprised that she wanted to say 'yes'. Her first instinct to coffee invitations, or any invitation really, was to use the old reliable I'm-sorry-I-have-to-work to get out of going. It was going to be her answer to this one as well, but this time she was going to be sorry about it.

She had opened her mouth to respond when the door jingled again. _Saved_ sounded between her ears as she saw a familiar figure enter the store.

“Officer Bates, welcome back. How's your aunt doing?”

“Better, Miss Ashari. Thank you for asking.”

“Are you here for more flowers for her?”

“Sorry, nothing so pleasant.” The beat officer's eyes traced the back of the man at her counter, and Keyleth followed suit with the man's front. He seemed more tense than he had been, his eyes skipping from arrangement to bouquet to loose flowers and back again. The cop spoke again. “Would you mind introducing me to your friend?”

She thought fast. “Oh, sure, this is... I'm so sorry, I've forgotten your name.”

“It's Vax.” He turned to the lawman.

“Vax, of course, how could I forget? Vax came here looking for a job.”

“Just Vax?” Officer Bates broke in.

“Vax'ildan in the long form. I haven't used my father's name in years.”

Keyleth spoke over the policeman's grunt. “A friend sent him over. I think I've turned down too many get-together offers with work excuses. Pike says... you know Pike Trickfoot, right? From the hospital?”

It wasn't until the officer's hand moved away from his holster that Keyleth noticed it had been there in the first place.

“I do know Dr. Trickfoot. I'm sorry to bother you both, but a pawn shop was robbed about twenty minutes ago, and one of the perps ran down this street. He was in a hooded sweatshirt jacket and jeans, approximately five foot ten and one hundred forty pounds. Did either of you see him run by?”

“Robbery?” She was shocked. “Was anyone hurt?”

“No ma'am, not that the owner isn't trying to convince us otherwise.” Officer Bates winced. “I shouldn't have said that. Can we pretend I didn't say that?”

“Of course.” Vax's posture had relaxed as the cop's had. “But to answer your question, I'm the person closest to that description that I've see today. How about you, Miss Ashari?”

“I told you to call me Keyleth. I'm not that kind of boss. Anyway, I haven't seen anyone either.”

Bates nodded, resigned. “Well, it would have been too easy anyway. This is only my first stop. We'll find him. But if you remember anything else,” he handed Vax a card, “please give me a call. Do you still have my number, ma'am?”

Keyleth nodded, feeling Vax watching her. Officer Bates gave a small bow and left a silence as well as the little shop. The longer the two stared at each other the more Keyleth felt pressured to say something, anything, to break the tension. Finally she came up with something she thought might be almost clever, if she could just say it right.

“I guess this makes me a... what do they call it?... an accessory after the fact?” She meant to accompany the little joke with a sassy little smile, but she was pretty sure it came across as more nervous with a dash of apologetic.

His delighted laugh triggered her own surprised giggle, and both sounds grew until they were close to rolling on the floor. As their hilarity crested and ebbed, Vax wiped tears from his cheeks and looked up at her.

“I hope I didn't mess things up with your... boyfriend?”

She had to blink a moment before she could process his words. “Boyfriend? Oh no, repeat customer.”

“Ah, well in that case...” The laughter in his eyes softened into something else. “I resubmit the invitation for coffee.”

Keyleth felt her shoulders sag. “I wish I could. I really wish I could, but after I close and clean up, it's just too late for me to drink coffee.”

“Dinner then.”

“I... I...”

“Seriously, I owe you for the aiding and abetting. Let me make you dinner tonight.”

“I...”

“It won't be just us. I live with my sister, so she'll be there and, oh yes, you should bring a friend for safety, you don't know me and you haven't even met my sister, so a friend would be good, and I'm actually a decent cook so you don't...” As Vax kept on talking Keyleth was reminded of how she herself babbled on occasion, OK, on almost every occasion. Could this beautiful person really be nervous about her?

“Well, I – ”

He took her hand and spoke more to it than her face. “Look, I do have a sister, so I understand about a woman's need for a soft 'no', but that looked like real disappointment to me. I'm going to need a solid answer. I swear if it's no, I'm gone, out of here. I'll just be back for flowers, unless you'd rather I just be gone. I guess.”

She waited for a moment, but it seemed he was actually finished. Maybe she could tease him just a little.

“So are you done? Is it my turn to talk?” His eyes widened as they jumped to her face. “I mean, if you need to talk more, that's fine, but if you'd actually like an answer...”

He shook his head with a smile. “Answer, please.”

“If my friend can make it, I would be happy to join you and your sister for dinner. So if you have a minute for me to make a phone call, we – ”

The front door rattled loudly, then the bell on the door jingled again. What had to be the largest dog ever... it was a dog, wasn't it?... do dogs get that big?... walked into the shop, its toenails tapping on the flooring.

“What... that... yeesh, that's huge.”

Vax turned and chuckled. “He definitely is that. Trinket, this is Keyleth.”

“Trinket? That's a Trinket? How big is an heirloom?”

“Blame my sister. He's hers.”

Trinket sat politely, then leaned forward to give a gentle lick to the back of Keyleth's hand. He then stood back up to take Vax's wrist in his mouth and tug.

“Shit. She must have sent him to get me, and he doesn't take no for an answer when it's something she wants.”

“Oh.” Keyleth didn't know how else to respond to that.

He slipped his hand out of Trinket's grasp and reached out to grab a card off her counter. Waving it over his head as the dog caught his shirt tail, he said, “I'll give you a call after I check on my sister. We'll get time sorted out and I'll get you my address then, OK?”

“OK.” His gaze melted her heart. She was almost sure he was going to kiss her, and she wasn't entirely wrong. He lifted the hand he still held to his lips, pressing them gently together.

“I'll see you later.”

She could only watch as he was tugged out the door.

* * *

Once he convinced Trinket to let his arm go, Vax almost danced his way home. Then two thoughts struck almost simultaneously: how was he going to tell his sister they were having company, and what on earth was he going to cook? 


	3. Warm and Fragrent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins have dinner with Keyleth and her friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: I made a few minor edits to chapter 1, and a bigger one to 2 (Vax somehow ended up with three hands...).

“But it's my night off.” Vex knew she was repeating herself, but she felt the point needed to be emphasized. It _was_ her night off, her night to shlub around in baggy sweats and eat ice cream out of the carton and binge-watch... something.

“And you'll be spending it with some nice people.”

“Some _allegedly_ nice people I don't know. Some allegedly nice people _you_ don't know, not really.”

“I know she kept me out of conjoined bracelets.”

Vex felt the wind slip right out of her sails, but she couldn't just drop it. She muttered, “But it's my night off.”

Vax laughed, gave her a loud smooch on the forehead and turned back to the stove. Giving up Vex stood up from the bar stools around the kitchen island to head back to her bedroom.

“Shall I assume the dress code for the evening is casual?”

“Strictly. Don't embarrass me.”

“Oh, please.” Vex rolled her eyes, completely aware her brother knew what she was doing even though she wasn't facing him. “As if my fashion sense could embarrass you, Mr. My-Closet-Is-All-Black.”

“Black is classic,” he called after her. She stuck her head back out the bedroom door to respond.

“No, brother dear, black is boring.”

The click of the door latch cut off any answer he had. When she emerged twenty minutes later Vax gave her a minor stink eye. 

“That's casual?”

She smoothed her skirt and brushed at her bodice. “It's not much more than a sun dress. You know I don't have a lot of clothes that hit between date night and walking Trinket, and I wouldn't want to embarrass my beloved brother.”

He had a retort ready, but something burbled on the stove to distract him. He stirred something, flipped something else, checked his watch and turned back to her.

“Here, keep an eye on this. Just stir it if it bubbles. I need to get changed.”

“Of course, brother dear.” They rolled their eyes at each other, each grinning as they passed.

After thirty-five minutes of occasional stirring and poking, Vex was getting annoyed. Vax was probably still standing naked in front of his closet trying to decide which black shirt to pair with which black jeans, not yet having gotten to deciding on socks, and why did he need to worry about which underwear he was wearing when it was just dinner with his sister and some potential friends anyway? She'd go in and harass him if it weren't for the naked part.

“Brother dearest, why does it take you twice as long as I do to get dressed, when you have half the clothes I do?”

A hand emerged from the bedroom, middle finger extended. As her laughter pealed out, someone knocked on the apartment door.

“Your company is here, brother dear.”

“Would you please get the door, darling sister?”

“Why of course, my brother, my heart.” She laughed again at the gagging noises from the bedroom and opened the door.

She turned to greet their guests and her eyes met... a throat. As she looked up she caught a glimpse of an familiar head of white hair behind a wild mane of red. She was almost distracted, until a voice shrilled in front of her.

“Vax? Ahh, that's a pretty... skirt?”

She gave her best welcome-to-my-home smile. “No, dear, I'm Vex, his sister. He forgot to mention that we're twins, didn't he?”

“Twins. Vex? You're very pretty. I hope we're not late. We took a wrong turn, well, three...”

“Why don't you and your friend come in?” She stepped back from the door to allow the two entry, refusing to react to the all-too-familiar bespecticled face under a shock of white hair. “I am of course assuming you're Keyleth.”

The girl blushed redder than Vex would have thought possible. “Oh, yes, of course, I mean, I'm sorry. I am Keyleth, and this is my friend –”

“Percival Fredrickstein von Mussel Klossowski de Rollo III.” Percival of the Ridiculously Long Name held out his hand as Keyleth of the Amazingly Red Blush chirped an addendum.

“But you can call him Percy.”

Vex grasped the offered hand and resisted asking the redhead why she was sorry she was Keyleth. The moment had passed anyway. “Well then, Keyleth dear, Percy, welcome to our home. You are allowed to pass the threshold, you know. You've been invited.”

Keyleth started apologizing again while Percy took her shoulders and steered her into the apartment. Vex waited for a break in the babbling.

“Keyleth darling, if you keep on like that you'll convince me I'm some horrible, intimidating monster, so please stop apologizing.”

As she noted the redhead's horrified expression, Vex raised her eyebrow pointedly, hoping to cut off more apologies. Keyleth firmly shut her mouth.

“There we go. Now if you two will seat yourselves at the kitchen island, I'll go see what's taking my brother so long.”

Walking back to the hallway between their rooms, Vex heard Keyleth speaking quietly to Percy.

“I feel bad. I don't think she's a horrible monster.”

“Just intimidating, then.”

“No! I didn't mean... well, to be honest, she's rather beyond beautiful, don't you think?”

Vex didn't hear Percy's response, but she felt she could live with intimidatingly beautiful. She rapped on Vax's door and spoke perhaps a bit more loudly than necessary.

“Brother mine, your guests have arrived. If you aren't out here soon, I may have to tell them the story of you, the chipmunks and Mother's brassiere.”

“You wouldn't d–” Vax cut himself off before he finished the challenging word, but his sister wasn't sure she was going to let him off the hook so easily.

“Was that a dare, brother dear?”

“Never, sister mine. I know better.”

“I don't know. It sounded like a dare.”

“Please forgive me. I'll be out in five... no, three minutes. Give me three minutes, OK?”

“Two minutes fifty-nine seconds, two minutes fifty-eight, two fifty-seven –”

The frustrated gargle that came out of her brother pulled a delighted laugh from his sister. Giggling as she returned down the hall Vex felt her expression melt from the grin she shared only with Vax and Trinket into her more public smile that was for everyone else.

“Well, he should be out soon.” After she passed the island she picked up a spoon and stirred a random pot. “So, tell me, what should I know about each of you?”

In the time it took Vax to emerge from the back (much closer to seven than three or even five minutes later), Vex had learned that Keyleth grew up in a multi-family owned and operated organic farm (or ranch. Vex wasn't entirely sure which, or if it was both, for that matter) where she learned more about plants and animals than she did people, that she and Percy met when she was picketing his family's business headquarters about a company they had ties to that was rumored to traffic in endangered species, and that her favorite place in the entire world was near the top of a small local mountain where water spilled out from a pile of rocks under three pine trees into a pool that became a small stream. Coincidentally, Vex knew and enjoyed the same spot. She learned nothing about Percy that didn't directly connect to Keyleth, though.

“Besides, it was you and the chipmunks.” Vax had a point to make as he strode into the main room.

Vex shook her head. “No, I was the hedgehog in the flour bin. You were definitely the chipmunks.”

“I remember it differently.”

“I'm sure you do.” Dropping the subject she gestured to their guests. “Say hello, you graceless cretin. You know Keyleth, and this is... Percival.”

Percy reached out, and Vax took his hand to shake. “Percival Fredrickstein von Mussel Klossowski de Rollo III.”

“But you can call him Percy.” That seemed to be Keyleth's part in introductions. Her words drew Vax's attention and he took her hand to raise it to his lips. The slightly dazed cast to his gaze combined with the hint of pink in his cheeks and ears and the length of time he lingered over the girl's hand set a leaden ball of apprehension forming in Vex's stomach.

“Brother dear, your sauce is spitting.” With a small, slightly panicked yelp Vax leapt to the stove and grabbed a wooden spoon. Keeping their guests in mind, Vex kept the smirk off her face.

“Hedgehogs? Chipmunks?” Keyleth looked intrigued.

“Oh, the hedgehog, yes. Well.” Vex pulled her braid forward and played with the end. “First, I want it known that I was very young at the time. It was very early spring when I found a small hedgehog in the woods behind our house. I was worried because there was still a lot of snow on the ground and she was brown, a perfect target for predators. So I brought her home, took her to the kitchen and dunked her in the flour bin.”

She continued over Vax's chuckle, Keleth's delighted giggle and a snort that sounded like it had been surprised out of Percy. “I will go to my grave absolutely certain it would have stayed between Vax, me and the hoglet if the ungrateful little perisher had simply refrained from sneezing so much.”

After a moment she joined in the laughter. The sound made her feel warm, warm and happy. It was hearing Vax happy, of course. That and there hadn't been more than the two of them laughing around their table in far too long. It had nothing to do with...

Keyleth was still interested in stories.

“And the chipmunk?”

“Chipmunks, dear, plural. Aannd.” Vex rolled her eyes at her brother. “Even though he took twice as long as he promised, it was much shorter than the half-hour I was expecting. So, since it is actually his story, I think we should let him decide when it should be told.”

“You brought them in the house, so it's your story.”

“You had the bright idea. The story is all yours.”

And so the tone for the evening was set. Tales of childhood mishaps, occupational missteps and social faux pas were shared and enjoyed as they ate (“Oooh, it smells wonderful. What is it?” “I call it Chicken ala Vax.”) and after they finished. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Keyleth had the most stories to share and, again unsurprisingly, Percy just had one which he told only when pressured into it. Eventually they reached the subject of that morning.

“Your dog is adorable. Trinket, is it? Where is he?” Keyleth burbled.

Vex smiled affectionately. “Oh, he's fine. He's in my room, probably moping because he's not allowed to socialize tonight.”

“Not allowed? Why not?”

“Well, he's very large, dear, and he can forget his manners when he gets excited.”

“I wouldn't mind.” The redhead's eyes nearly begged. “Percy and I are fine with dogs. Aren't we, Percy?”

“Um, I mean, I guess – ”

“See? It's fine. Please let him come out and visit.”

Vex almost sent an amused look to Percy, remembering their situation, or perhaps their lack of one, just in time to stop herself. Instead she glanced at her brother who was staring at the other girl with metaphorical hearts falling out of his eyes. She decided that if no one else objected, she certainly didn't and got up to let Trinket out to enjoy the evening with them.

By the time they'd left the bedroom (of course she couldn't resist taking time to give her best buddy an apology in the form of a good belly rub. Who could?) the topic had continued on to why Vax had wandered into Keyleth's shop in the first place.

“... decided the money wasn't enough, so he refused to return Mother's necklace. Honestly, he left us no choice.”

Keyleth seemed confused. “Didn't you get a receipt or something?”

“We most certainly did, and we showed it to him. He looked at it, took it to the back, came out without it and denied we'd given him anything.”

“So your mother's necklace was worth ruining his professional reputation?” Percival questioned. Well, if that wasn't a cue, Vex wasn't sure what would be.

“Apparently he felt fifteen minutes alone in the back room with me was worth the loss of whatever reputation the sleezy bastard had, professional or otherwise.” She sauntered back into the room before continuing. “I don't take kindly to extortion, and I choose whose hands touch me.”

She let her gaze wander over Percy, bitterly amused as she noticed a pink tinge to his cheeks and ears edging closer and closer to red. “Sometimes I choose poorly, but _I_ choose.”

There, that pushed him over to a full-fledged blush.

“That's just awful!” Keyleth was incensed. “You should go to the police.”

Vex managed to restrain a derisive snort. “The police? Darling, we have no proof. He took the receipt, remember?”

Vax chimed in. “So you see, it's not like we really stole anything.”

“Well, you took something without permission. Technically...” Percy let his voice fade out, his point made.

Vex leaned forward over her hands as they gripped the table. “It was our mother's, so it's ours.”

“But you exchanged it for money. Did you repay the debt?”

That stopped Vex cold, but Vax responded, “Yes, we did! I left it on the till!”

“You what?”

“I left the money on the till when it was getting clear what a dick he is.” Vax didn't meet his sister's eyes.

“Without getting a receipt.”

He sniffed. “Yea, like we were ever going to get a receipt.”

“Well, anyway, morally we have the high ground,” Vex continued after glaring at her brother another moment. “Legally is probably a different matter.”

At that the conversation faded. Vex had felt her brother's gaze fall on her periodically throughout the evening but, since his attention was on the other woman in the room much more of the time, she was doing a good job of diverting his attention from Percy and herself. Not that there was a 'Percy and herself', of course, but if there had been... Anyway, when Vax called time for dessert and moved behind the kitchen island to finish assembling it, she was mentally congratulating herself. That is to say, she was until he said, 'Oh, dear!' in that tone she'd learned to recognize before their age had reached double digits. The one that said he was up to something.

He continued in the same tone. “Silly me, I forgot the whipping cream. Keyleth, would you mind joining me for a walk to the market? It's only a few minutes from here.”

With the redhead's agreement he went to the closet for their coats. Vex joined him.

“What are you up to, brother?”

“I'm sure I don't know what you mean.”

“Oh, please. 'Oh, dear'? 'Silly me'?” Vex made her gagging face. “I'm your twin. I know when something's going on in that mind of yours.”

“Seriously, sister? I have a chance to be alone with a woman I might be interested in, and you're wondering what I'm up to?”

When he put it that way... “So you feel fine about leaving me alone with a stranger in the apartment?”

“Oh please, yourself. Alone? Trinket can deal with anything you can't better than I ever could.”

She needed to wipe that smirk off his face. “Don't forget a condom.”

“A co- We're going to the store!” His blush and stammer were quite satisfying, until... “We're talking about me, not you.”

Her jaw dropped. His smirk back, Vax walked away before she could sputter out more than “You... you little-”

“Little? I'm taller than you.” He tossed the comment over his shoulder, and was out the door with Keyleth before she could come up with a response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Umm, this really was supposed to be the last chapter, but the story didn't agree. Sorry?


	4. Sunflower and Orchid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vax and Keyleth go to the market, Vex and Percy have a talk. Poor Vax.

As he and Keyleth strolled and chatted, Vax flashed back to his last exchange with his sister, making a mental note to apologize when he got back. He'd pushed a little too far there near the end.

He looked over at Keyleth, who blushed and smiled shyly. He had a purpose asking her to come out with him, but was having problems remembering it as she walked beside him. They made it to and through the market, then through self-serve check-out without exchanging more than comments about the weather and her flowers. As they walked back, whipping cream in hand, Vax couldn't hold the question back. “Keyleth, is... I'm not really sure how to ask this, other than straight out. Is your friend acting strangely at all?”

“Percy? How do you mean, strangely?”

“Well, my sister isn't acting like herself.” He raked his fingers across his scalp, then bunched hair in his fist when he reached the base of his skull. “Normally, unless she's out with one person in particular, she's flirting with everyone in the room. Not seriously, I mean, just like friendly, drawing them out, making them feel good. But with him... She barely glances at him, and she doesn't talk to him more than she must to be polite.”

“I thought it was just me.”

“What was?”

“Well, I'm really clueless about people sometimes. I mean, I don't understand why they do what they do, you know?”

“If you're clueless and you noticed something, it must have really been something. So what was it?”

“He was looking at her.” Keyleth stared into his eyes as if her gaze could plant how weird that was in his brain. “He doesn't look at people he doesn't know well, and he doesn't know many people well besides me, but whenever she wasn't looking at him, he was looking at her.”

They kept hold of each other's eyes, so he knew when something crossed her mind. She dropped her gaze, the flush from their walk faded, and she started to say something.

“What?” Vax asked when she shut her mouth.

Keyleth took a breath, lifted her chin and wondered, with only a slight waver in her voice, “So that was why you wanted me to come with you? So you could ask me that?”

Well, shit balls, to borrow his sister's phrase. He couldn't let that thought stand. Gently lifting her chin and tilting her face toward his, he almost whispered, “Not entirely. Not even mostly.”

He leaned forward, pausing to let her pull back if she wanted. Instead she surprised him by coming to meet him, lips to lips.

* * *

“What do you think they're doing right about now?”

Vex snorted. Somehow it came out as affection, instead of annoyance. “If I know my brother, which I do, and if Keyleth is what she appears to be – ”

“Which she is.”

“Then my bet is that they're both trying to gather up enough guts to hold hands on their way back.”

“That does sound like Keyleth, although the quiet ones can surprise you,” Percy smiled. Vex grinned back at him, then she remembered that morning and the grin faded.

It's not like she'd never been rejected before; there was a time in her life when being shunned occurred on a daily basis, if not more often, and was many times preferable to actual interaction. Sexual snubs, however, happened very rarely, and never after she'd been plastered lips to hips against the snubber. But there was a first time for everything, or so they said, and maybe it was time to get over herself and just deal.

“I'm sorry, Percival. I've been an ass. When I turn someone down, I expect them to accept my decision gracefully, with respect, yet here I am, behaving like an entitled, resentful bitch. I'm truly sorry. You helped me out of a tight spot and I'm grateful. I can't expect you to be interested in me just because I'm drawn to you.”

“Not interested? How could anyone with even the slightest inclination toward women not be interested in you?” The nickel dropped behind Percy's eyes. “Wait. Drawn? To me?”

Vex was still processing the first part. Her eyes widened. “Oh! Bitch balls! I'm so sorry. I assumed... I'm an idiot. You seemed so into the kiss it never occurred to me you might be gay.”

“Gay? I'm not gay.”

“And I call myself an ally. I am-”

“Vex.”

“-such a hypocrite. I should-”

“Vex!” He took her arms and turned her toward himself. “I am not gay!”

“But you said... That means you are... So why not..? Are you sick?”

“I'm not sick.”

“In a committed relationship?”

“No!”

“Vow of celibacy? Afraid of sex? Dick fell off?”

“What?!”

“Those last two don't even matter. We can work through one and around the other.”

“Vex, stop.”

“Just give me a reason!” Her eyes welled up, but no tears fell. “I've spent half my life not being good enough and not knowing why. I don't do that shit anymore.”

“It's not a lack in you, Vex. I-”

“'It's not you, it's me'? Oh, darling, that's not only trite, it's a break-up line. We've never even been together.”

“Vex, please.”

His quiet request stopped her next interruption. With her best this-had-better-be-good expression she crossed her arms and waited for his explanation.

“You don't know me. There is absolutely nothing desirable about me, so you can't possibly want me. You-” He was cut off by a fist connecting with his nose. More surprised than hurt, he could only blink at her as she tried to shake the pain out of her hand.

“You do not get- Oww, shit, shit, shit!” She gave up on shaking and tried rubbing her knuckles. Giving up and just cradling one hand in the other, she started again. “You don't get to tell me what I want or what I don't want! What I feel or don't feel! My brother doesn't even get to do that!”

Percy sighed, his eyes searching for answers in the weave of the living room carpet. “OK... Fair point. I... I'm a mess, Vex. You don't even know. My psychiatric file reads like the DSM-5. I can't deal with crowds, heights, open spaces, enclosed spaces, and the list goes on. I dream about smoke demons and vampires, then wake up screaming as many as three or four times a night. I'm just a mess. You deserve better than me.”

She waited until it was clear Percy had finished.

“That's it? 'I deserve better'? I'd hit you again, but my hand hurts too much. Apparently the 'better' I deserve doesn't include the right to make my own decisions. You arrogant ass.” Vex couldn't maintain her anger and the insult came out more tired than anything. “May I point out that you don't know me either? I'm a mess, too. I'm a twenty-three year old woman who hyperventilates when she's too far from her brother and her dog for too long. It has been suggested that I'm a nymphomaniac. (I disagree, but it has been said.) I have daddy issues. I have trust issues. Let's face it, I just have issues, but they all went away for a while when I kissed you. Strange, don't you think?”

“Vex, I...”

“So don't you tell me this is about what I deserve. That's bullshit and you know it. It's about what you fear. You're rejecting me to keep yourself safe, and that's fine, and you can lie to yourself about why, that's up to you, but I know the truth and you know I know.

“Or maybe the wanting me part is the bullshit. Either way... Look, I'll just go back to my room. I'll come out when they get back, and we won't have to deal with each other in the mean time.”

She moved toward the hall, stopping at a gentle touch on her wrist. She vaguely heard Trinket's warning growl, but her attention was caught by the expression on Percy's face as he stared at his hand resting on her wrist. Not holding, not grasping, just resting. He looked stunned, a little afraid but more... she wasn't exactly sure more what, but it didn't seem bad.

“Please stay, Vex.”

“Why?” It was the only response she could find.

He looked side to side before he focused behind her right ear. “Because you're right. Not the wanting-you-is-bullshit part, but I wasn't thinking about your needs, your desires, no matter how much I told myself I was. I convinced myself I was protecting you from me, when I was really trying to do the opposite, and when I realized that, I realized something else as well.

“I don't want to be protected from you.”

Vex stayed silent as she raised her hand to his jaw to turn his head just a bit until he had to face her. She waited.

“I'm sorry, Vex. I don't deserve you, and you certainly deserve better than me, but if you can forgive me, and if you're still interested, perhaps we could see each other sometime?”

She raised up onto her toes, leaned forward and touched her lips to his.

* * *

Vax and Keyleth were laughing as they left the stairwell. Although they hushed each other so as not to disturb the neighbors, giggles and titters still filled the hallway as they returned to the apartment. He opened the door, started to step in, then spun back to slam his back against the wall beside the door.

“Vax, what the-” She started to go in, deciding to copy his reaction instead. They looked at each other from opposite sides of the door. Vax's cheeks felt as red as Keyleth's looked.

OK, so maybe Trinket wasn't enough protection after all.

Oh, gods, he had never craved brain bleach more than he did at that moment. Not only had he just seen parts of his sister he hadn't seen since they'd reached puberty, but the parts he'd seen were being touched by hands that weren't hers. The hands owner was stretched out on the sofa, glasses askew, Vex'ahlia clamped onto his collarbone like a lamprey.

Vax heard murmuring from the other side of the door as he asked Keyleth, “I'm never going to be able to unsee that, am I?”

The door opened between them.

“It's safe now. Come on in.” Vax wanted to believe the flush across her face was from embarassment, but was pretty sure it had more to do with... previous exertion. “Sorry, poor timing.”

“I was planning on apologizing for my part of the condom comment, but...”

“Mmm, you should. It was rather harsh, but I'll let it pass as you've had a trauma.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the end is so abrupt, but I've been working on it for a few days and it's just not getting any better. I figure I can edit this post posting, if I come up with something better...


End file.
